An Orgasm a Day Keeps the Ableism Away

I was doing some self-touch in the tub today, not self-pleasure necessarily, but in the neighborhood.

painting by disabled artist, Candice Black, titled “Burning Inside” Image description: a rich tapestry of red, black and yellow, which show a person sitting naked, holding their legs bent as they hold them tightly against their body.

As I observed my skin, steeping in touch, I allowed a truth to wash over me: my body isn’t going to look like this for much longer.

On February 12th, I will be getting a colostomy, and my body is going to change again. I will bear another kind of disability, and I’m processing that.

I’m also very excited for this change. Both things can exist simultaneously. Both things can cradle each other in gentle embrace.

But then I thought about how I can enjoy this time, celebrate my body more, as it is, as it will be, and lift the thing that feels achingly vulnerable in anticipation of this upcoming shift — my sexuality. And it suddenly occurred to me…

Maybe an orgasm a day keeps the ableism away.

I know that engaging with myself as a sexual and sensual being is a way to combat the fears, the internalized-ableism, the ableist narratives that invade and permeate our cultural tapestry. So I’m using these nuggets of wisdom that I have gained over the years and applying them to this liminal choreography.

I’m hoping this practice will remind me:

I am desirable

I’m making the right choice

The future is bright

My body is mine, and beautiful, and miraculous, and strong, and wise

And if anything, it should be a pretty good time, soooo, fuck it.

Big love,

KP

P.S.